#SandyBland and having children in America

I was not born in America. I am a legal immigrant from a majority black country, now married to a non-black, 1st generation American. Last week he asked me why I used to say I didn't want sons. Initially, I didn't want sons because I thought of all the heartache my brothers gave, they were harder to control and I didn't think I would know how to control them. And then I moved to the US and my fear of having a son changed to fearing that he wouldn't make it to adulthood; that he would lose his life over something stupid and minor. The news made me afraid to have sons. And so I thought that if I had a daughter, at least she would make it. I thought if I can get her into decent schools and pound into her head the importance of her education, she would definitely make it. I never thought I would have to worry about harassment by police. Just the usual: stranger danger. Growing up girl is hard but I thought even black girls were safe in interactions with the police. The pool party incident in Texas, the woman who was killed because she knocked on a door asking for help and Sandra Bland...these are 3 incidents but they are still concerning. It's like some people don't see us as human. We had a flat on the highway recently and a state trooper came to help us. He came to help, we did nothing wrong and I was still terrified. Hubs got a little bent outta shape because of the frustration with the blowout and it made me wonder if he was black, would it have been worse? I asked him how he'd feel having a black child. He said he didn't think too much, that he hopes the world will change and he hopes our kids are healthy and happy. I hope so too. RIP Sandra Bland.